talk to people

I move on but slowly from Sal in Do the Right Thing being blown out the window by Public Enemy to this Sunday morning listening to the Pick and Bows Bluegrass show. That does not mean I am not ready. I awoke at 2 a.m. last night with my door open to the bathroom night light and digital bars of illumination from my clock radio. A howling came from the woods. Not necessarily an animal - dog, coyote - but maybe a drifter. I swam out of bed and felt for my chair already angled to the window. I listened, anticipating large stick snaps. Maybe a change in the backyard light. Nothing like that happened.

I did not schedule this engine explosion into my weekly calendar next to a couple phone calls. I realize - just see - now that I did not schedule a day to buy oil either. Would I have bought 5 quarts had I safely driven that last 1/4 - 1/2 mile to Sears Optical? Or would I have risked it again until Saturday when I would be in a shopping center? The distance from Sears Optical to Wal-Mart is one I could throw a hammer from parking lot to parking lot. Part of my problem is how I figured Wal-Mart was the only place to buy oil. Like Dalton didn't have a Napa store.

I believe that without this little circumstance I would have dropped a couple things from my pocket into my car, walked to Wal-Mart, bought oil and returned. Again, I try to say it without influence of the present. That 2 for $99 deal raised to $280 not including a $60 eye exam and I didn't care. In fact, awesome. Two pairs, with 2 year warranty, clean, spotless lenses. Plus, baby, I still have the pair I wear that I would wear at hard places.

Do you see what I mean? It's not that I was beginning to put pieces in the right places it's that I was on a winning streak of round peg in round hole, etc.

Money. It felt good to have after earning it the last six weeks, but it felt better spending it on my terms. I bought-to-own at an auction, that memorable Goodwill visit and I paid in advance for a movie ticket.

Drum roll please. It is the whole engine, it is a lot of money and they don't throw in brakes, A/C, a front windshield, a passenger's side window motor and lifetime car washes.

I just have to say this last thing because in one sentence this is how I've thought about it. I didn't need this reinforcement to shape me up. Did I tell you more about that talk I asked to have? How it was for my long term emotional health? I would love to tell you the many positive reinforcement of the last six weeks but they would also be too long to list.

(Deep breath) It's okay. I was asked, "But you are okay, right?" And I am. And I didn't injure anyone else.

Haha, oh goodness, yesterday I sweated to soaked with a workout.